Connor is such a bright and clever little boy, intelligent and engaging – people comment on that when they meet him and my father adores him. Connor had been in foster care for three years and we saw him in the matching magazine at the end of November. If he hadn’t been adopted by December he would have gone into long term foster care. I’d advise people not to rule out older children.
I was encouraged to enquire about adoption after seeing an item on This Morning during National Adoption Week. They featured a little boy of eight who had a few little learning disabilities. He’d been separated from his siblings and his story broke my heart. I knew that adoption was what I wanted to do.
We were the only same sex couple on the training course which was a bit daunting but we were soon reassured when we saw another same sex couple on the training DVD they showed us. It was interesting on the training meeting the other families.
Going through the process was quite frightening at times – especially when you realise the responsibility that comes with having a child. I’d say prospective adopters need to both be as involved in and committed to the process as each other.
Unfortunately my partner left after three months due to him realising he didn’t want to be a parent and whilst this was sad it made me realise we wanted different things out of life. So this is why it is so important you are honest with each other going through this life changing process, which for most is an amazing experience. I’ve never regretted it though. There was no way I was going to change my mind about Connor.
I’ve had Connor for a year and a half now. He’s got mild dyspraxia but is expected to grow out of it. I’d advise people not to rule out older children. After being in care for three years Connor is learning to adapt and do things differently. He’s got some issues with attachment. Walking to school I might say ‘You can hold my hand today but tomorrow you won’t because you’re a big boy’ – it becomes quite natural.
I’ve reconnected with a school friend who’s adopted three sisters. It helps to be able to have someone who understands the process. There is bad behaviour but that’s every child – it’s not because he’s adopted it’s because he’s a child. I look at other people’s children behaving badly and feel glad I’ve got Connor.
Being a parent is very rewarding in lots of ways and there are a lot more ups than there are downs.